Updated: Feb 15
Rejection by your partner can be very upsetting and hurtful for both men and women alike. Sexual rejection frequently leads to a loss of confidence and low self-esteem.
When a woman lacks confidence or has low self-esteem in any area of her life, this often follows
through into the bedroom. Sexual dysfunctions such as anorgasmia are sometimes a result of
past rejection. However, lack of confidence and low self-esteem become compounded when the bedroom is where the problem begins. It is not at all unusual for women who come to me for help regarding various sexual dysfunctions to tell me that they feel too embarrassed to talk about their feelings of rejection with their partner. Talking to their doctor about sexual health is also problematic for many women who suffer in silence until they seek help via solution focussed hypnotherapy.
As females, we tend to assume that men enjoy sex as a physical activity and a release. We perceive they don't feel the emotional connection that we do. Yet increasingly, through therapy, it is being discovered that men don't see sex as merely a physical activity and release. During therapy, men often say they want to connect to their partner, to feel close to her and for sex to validate their desirability.
‘One tip never say no to sex…’ (DeBono).
Men who fear rejection stop instigating sex. They close inwards just the same as women do and before you know it there are problems in the bedroom. When rejection knocks the confidence of either partner in circumstances when you don't talk, it is easy to spiral downwards. In some cases, both of you are increasingly suffering from a perceived rejection. As a couple, you are also two individual people with different desires. A disparity in couples' sexual desire is one of the main conflicts couples face. When you cannot talk to each other, it is also one of the most damaging.
For men this can lead to:
Erectile Dysfunction (ED)
Lack of confidence
Frustration and anger
For women, this lack of confidence can have a psychological impact that is much more far-reaching than low self-esteem. It can lead to both additional psychological effects and manifest as physical symptoms, including :
Poor Body Image
Difficulty Becoming Aroused
Lack of Sexual Satisfaction
As well as fear of instigating sex. You fear rejection, so don't instigate sex at all.
The additional symptoms then exacerbate the problem as you continue to emotionally and physically spiral downwards.
Of course, you are soon in a challenging place. You can't climb out of the well of despair. That is where solution focussed hypnotherapy helps. By connecting to the subconscious mind, I help you overcome the impact of rejection and work through getting your love life back on track.